I had never achieved anything in life

Professionally, I am satisfied. But I realized that I had never achieved anything in life. You, my friends, have accomplished great things. You already have family and children. Me? Nothing, nothing, nothing. Every time I congratulate you, I do it with joy but also with pain in my soul. That's because I know I'll never be happy. It's like it's my fault I was born with disabilities. I wonder what I did wrong before God that I can't find my soul mate. All the girls I hoped for just used me like a rag and threw me out. Some even swore at me afterwards. They all looked outside me. One never thought I had a soul. When they saw that I was poor and ugly, they were done with me. Used and thrown away as a dirty cloth. So at the age of 34, as much as I do in the fall, I realize that all my life I am doomed to suffering and loneliness. At least, after the very strong blow in the winter, I learned my lesson about the girls from the Republic of Moldova and if I ever find one, although I don't think it will happen, I don't want it to be from the Republic of Moldova.